Christopher Moore
Practical Demonkeeping
(The first book in the Pine Cove series)
(1992)
Christopher Moore's demonically seductive storylines and zany, addictive brand of humor have earned him comparisons to Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Buckley, Douglas Adams, and other comic virtuosos. He's given us lovelorn vampires, marooned love goddesses, and addled sea beasts. Now discover his ingenious debut novel, in which we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "road" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets. Behind the fake Tudor facade of Pine cove, California, Catch sees a four-star buffet. Travis, on the other hand, thinks he sees a way of ridding himself of his toothy traveling companion. The winos, Neo-pagans, and deadbeat Lotharios of Pine Cove, meanwhile, have other ideas. And none of them is quite prepared when all hell breaks loose...
download in doc and lit
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove
(The second book in the Pine Cove series)
(1998)
The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally -- well, to be accurate, artificially -- business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out whats wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.
download in doc and lit
Bloodsucking Fiends
(The first book in the Love Story series)
(1995)
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.
Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and thats where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door ... and proceeds to rock Tommys life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never imagined possible.
download in doc and lit
You Suck
(The second book in the Love Story series)
(2007)
Nineteen-year old C. Thomas Flood - Tommy, to his friends - has a problem.
He slept with his incredibly hot girlfriend, Jody.
That's a problem?
Well, Jody is a vampire. And now, Tommy is too.
Following his unexpected initiation into San Francisco's most alternative lifestyle, Tommy sees that an undead existence requires some speedy adaptation.
First, his new improved vampire senses make him quickly realize how bad most people smell. (Make that all people.)
Second - it'll just make sense to keep a local wino handy for late-night snacks (you need to keep an eye on those blood sugar levels).
Third - it's now easy to talk a young Goth girl into working as your personal gofer and aide-de-camp as long as she can tell her friends she's a "Tortured Victim of the Daylight Dwellers," so darned full of foreboding and dread that all skeezy mortals will just, OMG, scurry before her dazzling darkness.
But, while Tommy's learning all this, he must avoid the police; as well as the centuries-old vampire who started the trouble in the first place by turning Jody, and who now wants to pick up where he left off.
And, he must also steer clear of his former pals, a herd of Beta Males who've given up frozen turkey bowling in order to spend more time (and all their money) on a Las Vegas call girl who dyed herself blue in hopes of tapping a niche market -- realizing too late that the market tapped consists of frozen turkey bowlers who spend way too much time thinking about Smurfs.
Chris Moore's new novel, You Suck, A Love Story has all this and more, including familiar faces from his 2006 New York Times bestseller, A Dirty Job. And if you haven't yet sunk your teeth into it - Tommy and Jody first appear in his novel, Bloodsucking Fiends.
So if you're looking for San Francisco scenery, hot vampire sex (similar to hot monkey sex, but hotter), giant shaven cats, the Cheddar Princess of Fond du Lac, and the Fighting Beatniks of Allen Ginsberg High School -- four words:
YOU SUCK.
It doesn't.
download in html and lit
Coyote Blue
(1994)
From Christopher Moore, author of Fluke, comes a quirky, irreverent novel of love, myth, metaphysics, outlaw biking, angst, and outrageous redemption.
As a boy growing up in Montana, he was Samson Hunts Alone -- until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Today he is Samuel Hunter, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, a condo, and a hollow, invented life. Then one day, shortly after his thirty-fifth birthday, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love -- in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid -- and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient Indian god by the name of Coyote. Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to transform tranquillity into chaos, to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam... and to seriously screw up his existence in the process.
download in doc and lit
Island of the Sequined Love Nun
(1997)
Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise -- a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guys body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his bosss pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jeans goons. Now theres only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.
download in doc and lit
Lamb
The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
(2002)
The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiahs best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer).
Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Saviors pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But theres no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isnt about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
download in doc and lit
Fluke
Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
(2003)
Just why do humpback whales sing? Thats the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals. Until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite me.
Trouble is, Nates beginning to wonder if he hasnt spent just a little too much time in the sun. Cause no one else on his team saw a thing -- not his longtime partner, Clay Demodocus; not their saucy young research assistant; not even the spliff-puffing white-boy Rastaman Kona (né Preston Applebaum). But later, when a roll of film returns from the lab missing the crucial tail shot -- and his research facility is trashed -- Nate realizes something very fishy indeed is going on.
By turns witty, irreverent, fascinating, puzzling, and surprising, Fluke is Christopher Moore at his outrageous best.
download in doc and lit
The Stupidest Angel
A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
(2004)
Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. It is the hap-hap-happiest time of the year, after all.
But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, hes not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasnt run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead.
But hold on! Theres an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) Its none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angels not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," hes botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen.
Only Christopher Moore, the man who brought you the outrageous lost gospel Lamb and the hysterical fish tale Fluke could have devised a new holiday classic that tugs at the heartstrings and serves up a healthy slice of fruitcake to boot.
Move over, Charles ****ens -- its Christopher Moore time.
download in doc and lit
A Dirty Job
(2006)
Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy. A little hapless, somewhat neurotic, sort of a hypochondriac. He's what's known as a Beta Male: the kind of fellow who makes his way through life by being careful and constant -- you know, the one who's always there to pick up the pieces when the girl gets dumped by the bigger/taller/stronger Alpha Male.
But Charlie's been lucky. He owns a building in the heart of San Francisco, and runs a secondhand store with the help of a couple of loyal, if marginally insane, employees. He's married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy. And she, Rachel, is about to have their first child.
Yes, Charlie's doing okay for a Beta. That is, until the day his daughter, Sophie, is born. Just as Charlie -- exhausted from the birth -- turns to go home, he sees a strange man in mint-green golf wear at Rachel's hospital bedside, a man who claims that no one should be able to see him. But see him Charlie does, and from here on out, things get really weird...
People start dropping dead around him, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death. It's a dirty job. But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
download in doc and lit
Mediafire, one link
in lit and doc
Novels
* Practical Demonkeeping (1992)
* Coyote Blue (1994)
* Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story (1995)
* Island of the Sequined Love Nun (1997)
* The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove (1999)
* Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal (2002)
* Fluke, or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings (2003)
* The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror (2004)
* A Dirty Job (2006) (awarded The Quill Book Award for General Fiction for 2006)
* You Suck: A Love Story (2007)
Practical Demonkeeping
(The first book in the Pine Cove series)
(1992)
Christopher Moore's demonically seductive storylines and zany, addictive brand of humor have earned him comparisons to Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Buckley, Douglas Adams, and other comic virtuosos. He's given us lovelorn vampires, marooned love goddesses, and addled sea beasts. Now discover his ingenious debut novel, in which we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "road" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets. Behind the fake Tudor facade of Pine cove, California, Catch sees a four-star buffet. Travis, on the other hand, thinks he sees a way of ridding himself of his toothy traveling companion. The winos, Neo-pagans, and deadbeat Lotharios of Pine Cove, meanwhile, have other ideas. And none of them is quite prepared when all hell breaks loose...
download in doc and lit
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove
(The second book in the Pine Cove series)
(1998)
The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally -- well, to be accurate, artificially -- business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out whats wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.
download in doc and lit
Bloodsucking Fiends
(The first book in the Love Story series)
(1995)
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.
Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and thats where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door ... and proceeds to rock Tommys life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never imagined possible.
download in doc and lit
You Suck
(The second book in the Love Story series)
(2007)
Nineteen-year old C. Thomas Flood - Tommy, to his friends - has a problem.
He slept with his incredibly hot girlfriend, Jody.
That's a problem?
Well, Jody is a vampire. And now, Tommy is too.
Following his unexpected initiation into San Francisco's most alternative lifestyle, Tommy sees that an undead existence requires some speedy adaptation.
First, his new improved vampire senses make him quickly realize how bad most people smell. (Make that all people.)
Second - it'll just make sense to keep a local wino handy for late-night snacks (you need to keep an eye on those blood sugar levels).
Third - it's now easy to talk a young Goth girl into working as your personal gofer and aide-de-camp as long as she can tell her friends she's a "Tortured Victim of the Daylight Dwellers," so darned full of foreboding and dread that all skeezy mortals will just, OMG, scurry before her dazzling darkness.
But, while Tommy's learning all this, he must avoid the police; as well as the centuries-old vampire who started the trouble in the first place by turning Jody, and who now wants to pick up where he left off.
And, he must also steer clear of his former pals, a herd of Beta Males who've given up frozen turkey bowling in order to spend more time (and all their money) on a Las Vegas call girl who dyed herself blue in hopes of tapping a niche market -- realizing too late that the market tapped consists of frozen turkey bowlers who spend way too much time thinking about Smurfs.
Chris Moore's new novel, You Suck, A Love Story has all this and more, including familiar faces from his 2006 New York Times bestseller, A Dirty Job. And if you haven't yet sunk your teeth into it - Tommy and Jody first appear in his novel, Bloodsucking Fiends.
So if you're looking for San Francisco scenery, hot vampire sex (similar to hot monkey sex, but hotter), giant shaven cats, the Cheddar Princess of Fond du Lac, and the Fighting Beatniks of Allen Ginsberg High School -- four words:
YOU SUCK.
It doesn't.
download in html and lit
Coyote Blue
(1994)
From Christopher Moore, author of Fluke, comes a quirky, irreverent novel of love, myth, metaphysics, outlaw biking, angst, and outrageous redemption.
As a boy growing up in Montana, he was Samson Hunts Alone -- until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Today he is Samuel Hunter, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, a condo, and a hollow, invented life. Then one day, shortly after his thirty-fifth birthday, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love -- in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid -- and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient Indian god by the name of Coyote. Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to transform tranquillity into chaos, to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam... and to seriously screw up his existence in the process.
download in doc and lit
Island of the Sequined Love Nun
(1997)
Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise -- a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guys body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his bosss pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jeans goons. Now theres only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.
download in doc and lit
Lamb
The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
(2002)
The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiahs best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer).
Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Saviors pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But theres no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isnt about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
download in doc and lit
Fluke
Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
(2003)
Just why do humpback whales sing? Thats the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals. Until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite me.
Trouble is, Nates beginning to wonder if he hasnt spent just a little too much time in the sun. Cause no one else on his team saw a thing -- not his longtime partner, Clay Demodocus; not their saucy young research assistant; not even the spliff-puffing white-boy Rastaman Kona (né Preston Applebaum). But later, when a roll of film returns from the lab missing the crucial tail shot -- and his research facility is trashed -- Nate realizes something very fishy indeed is going on.
By turns witty, irreverent, fascinating, puzzling, and surprising, Fluke is Christopher Moore at his outrageous best.
download in doc and lit
The Stupidest Angel
A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
(2004)
Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. It is the hap-hap-happiest time of the year, after all.
But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, hes not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasnt run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead.
But hold on! Theres an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) Its none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angels not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," hes botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen.
Only Christopher Moore, the man who brought you the outrageous lost gospel Lamb and the hysterical fish tale Fluke could have devised a new holiday classic that tugs at the heartstrings and serves up a healthy slice of fruitcake to boot.
Move over, Charles ****ens -- its Christopher Moore time.
download in doc and lit
A Dirty Job
(2006)
Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy. A little hapless, somewhat neurotic, sort of a hypochondriac. He's what's known as a Beta Male: the kind of fellow who makes his way through life by being careful and constant -- you know, the one who's always there to pick up the pieces when the girl gets dumped by the bigger/taller/stronger Alpha Male.
But Charlie's been lucky. He owns a building in the heart of San Francisco, and runs a secondhand store with the help of a couple of loyal, if marginally insane, employees. He's married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy. And she, Rachel, is about to have their first child.
Yes, Charlie's doing okay for a Beta. That is, until the day his daughter, Sophie, is born. Just as Charlie -- exhausted from the birth -- turns to go home, he sees a strange man in mint-green golf wear at Rachel's hospital bedside, a man who claims that no one should be able to see him. But see him Charlie does, and from here on out, things get really weird...
People start dropping dead around him, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death. It's a dirty job. But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
download in doc and lit
Mediafire, one link
in lit and doc
Novels
* Practical Demonkeeping (1992)
* Coyote Blue (1994)
* Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story (1995)
* Island of the Sequined Love Nun (1997)
* The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove (1999)
* Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal (2002)
* Fluke, or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings (2003)
* The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror (2004)
* A Dirty Job (2006) (awarded The Quill Book Award for General Fiction for 2006)
* You Suck: A Love Story (2007)
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